The story of Celestina is really quite universal. It’s a story of unrequited love, lack of control over desire, putting a lover on a pedestal, and infatuation with the fantasy of a person that does not exist. These are all consequences I’m all too familiar with. Celestina is a story that is so relatable because we’ve all experienced these drawbacks during our love endeavors.

It’s really quite a depressing message that Celestina sends. Part of human nature is never being satisfied with what we have in front of us. We’re always requiring more and more and more. It’s like a sickness. Our happiness is fleeting. It’s like humans are obsessed with consumerism whether it be for material goods, fun, partners, love…the general pursuit of what we think will bring us "happiness". Yet it’s never enough. We always desire more. And while this can be a good thing because it can motivate us to strive towards perfection, it an also devour us and make us very unhappy and ungrateful. I can’t help to think of a quote by the Buddha that I feel relates to this message. "The source of all unhappiness comes from not being able to let go"… and it’s true! We pour our energy into things that bring us so much unhappiness and stress when not retained or achieved. Being able to let go would free our minds and spirits and make us free of desires and ultimately happy. However this is not an easy accomplishment and maybe only the Buddha can master it.

This was the only topic of conversation in our class that is about "pain" regarding "love". Two seemingly opposites that can be totally connected. The lecture inspired two questions that I don’t know if anyone can ever answer. One is, if desire can never be fulfilled are we searching for, or have an affinity for, the ones who we know can never fulfill our desire or the image we create of them? The second, why do we create such impossible imagery of love? Love is so painful because it can’t be controlled. That’s all I know.

I’m reluctant to say that I "really enjoyed" the lecture about rape because of how that could sound but I did find it very interesting. The presentation was resolved and unbiased, touching on many angles of the tragedy. I must admit I had no idea what direction this lecture would go in. I know it was based on the topic of rape jokes but I didn’t think there was really such a thing. At least I thought I had never heard any. I can’t believe how mistaken I was. I guess I never considered prison rape an actual rape joke and was thinking more along the lines of "Two blondes were raped….". There is an alarming amount of prison rape humor and it’s so common that alarmingly I never even noticed it or noted it as appalling. Like you said in the lecture, Professor, we make these jokes to separate ourselves from the victim but in this case I felt I was so separated from the subject of prison rape humor that it didn’t even phase me. I was so desentsized from this type of humor that it didn’t even catch my attention. Unfortunately if we keep the cycle of joking about rape and de-sensitizing the topic further we continue to demean it and keep it in light.

It’s a very serious discussion however. One thing I would have liked to bring up in the Q&A was how quickly and rampantly HIV is spread through prison rape. I learned about this last year when I was taking AIDS and epidemics. Even though the government knows that men are raped and HIV is spread in jails they turn a blind eye to this. They won’t endorse condom use in prison because they won’t accept that this is happening. They continue to look the other way while HIV spreads throughout the population. Many of these HIV positive prisoners are one day set free and then perpetuate the spread into society.

I had forgotten this but remembered it during the last few minutes of the presentation. When talking about how one of her roommates dressed during spring fling, I remember my friend saying she was walking around "just asking to get raped". It came to my attention that this is a stupid and ignorant thing to say. No one walks around "asking to get raped" whether they are dressed sleazy or not. The whole catch of rape is that it is inconsentual and how could one literally "ask for it". I wish the stigmata behind rape could be lifted. I think if we stopped using it as the topic of cheap jokes and focused more on discussion of it as a serious offense whether in prison or not, we could prevent a lot of people from becoming victims of it.

Requiem for a Dream is a poignant and painful experience. It’s like a car wreck that is so bad you want to look away but you can’t. What is perhaps the most sad and realistic part about this story, differentiating it from other movies, is that it exploits the selfishness of human nature. While every character in this narrative is intertwined, they all live in their own individual microcosm much more concerned about themselves than the people they love. They naïvely think that they are taking steps, with the involvement of drugs, that will allow them to ‘get ahead’. They foolishly think that they have power over drugs and will gain an advantage.

When they enter the drug trade Harry, Marion, and Tyrone are on top of the world. But after bailing Tyrone out of prison the group faces financial hardship and each character comes to terms with their value. Harry convinces Marion to prostitute herself for drug money. Harry and Tyrone leave Marion to venture to Florida to score drugs. Harry’s arm becomes infected and eventually amputated from his irresponsible heroin addiction. And all Harry’s mother cares about is fitting back into her red dress despite advice from her son.

Had these people not gotten involved in drugs they might not have been so blindsided to the harm they were subjecting themselves and others to. Like the adage goes “The road to hell is paved with good intentions” and while Sara, Harry, Marion, and Tyrone were all just trying to make their dreams come true they shouldn’t have expected to make an honest living out of a dirty habit.

I love the visual style of the movie. The close-ups of the dilated pupils, syringes, and drugs in bloodstream were both simultaneously enticing and repellent. So many details of this film were stomach-turning; Harry’s infected arm, Sara’s teeth grinding, Big Tim’s teeth, Marion’s sexcapades all contributed to making the viewer uneasy about the message and meaning of this film. I love this movie I just wish it didn’t have to be true. It reminds me of the rollercoaster ride we read about in Beautiful Boy.